PSA: The Great Internet Reboot (Plus March 2014 Monthly Snapshot)

With the proliferation of images, video, and general information on the Internet over the last several decades, the International Department of Internet Oversight and Tracking (IDIOT) has determined the Internet is running out of cyberspace. IDIOT has been fielding various solutions over the last five years. Some of these include rationing website size, and limiting the number of cat videos a single household can upload.

A sample of a cat.

“Cats can be a fascinating species,” Bjorn HansBjorn, Vice-President of IDIOT said. “However, we question whether each video of cats is as purely unique as their owner claims.”

HansBjorn also confessed to not being a cat-lover, and preferring dog videos. When asked if he supported a cap on dog videos, he declined to answer.

A dog with a bow

Sample of a cute dog.

“My cats and I love watching the videos together,” said Henrietta Felix, owner of nine cats and proud subscriber to Cat Fancy. “I just can’t get enough. Only a member of IDIOT couldn’t understand why they should be unlimited.”

After several public forums and Twitter polls, IDIOT has come up with the following solution:

On May 1, 2014, IDIOT will be shutting down the entire Internet for 24 hours and re-booting the Internet. All websites that have not been updated since 2000 will be erased, and all memes will be combined into one-mega-meme to be used for all purposes. All Social Networking sites will be combined into a mega-Social site where people are limited 25 “friends,” and only 1 selfie per week.

“If you have a favorite video, song, or site,” said Pauline Bakur, PR Manager for IDIOT. “Make sure you get online in the next month and vote for your favorites to keep. Also, print out a back-up copy of each page so it can be re-created if necessary, as well as each frame of videos you enjoy. If we all prepare together, the transition will be easy and smooth.”

I attempted to log on to their website, but it appears to be in a re-boot of its own.

Which sites do you think we should keep? What is your favorite cat video? What should there be less of? What should we call the new mega-Social-site?

I’ll pass on your feedback to IDIOT.

(And, possibly, happy April Fools)

As for real things, click on over to the March 2014 Monthly Snapshot 

15 thoughts on “PSA: The Great Internet Reboot (Plus March 2014 Monthly Snapshot)

  1. Lol. “Warner Brothers must be very happy for their bank accounts”. Great last line to the blog.

    Only movie seen for this month was Grand Budapest. Pretty good, but not Anderson’s best.
    Grey’s Anatomy is still on? People still watch it?
    I can’t believe Let it Go is #5! How does that happen? Most downloaded? I’ve never heard it on the radio. What is the other song from an animated movie?

      • I’m not sure I want to find a tie-in to cat-and-armadillo videos!

        More generally, I’ve thought about it. Over the last decade, a lot of writers in the sff field have started listing music to play while reading their works. On occasion, I’ve made allusions to songs or videos in my writing, but generally kept it low-key so as not to run afoul of copyright.

  2. It’s too bad the one-selfie-per-week rule isn’t true. I think it would make the world a better place.

    The traditionally selfieless could also set up a kind of “cap and trade” arrangement, selling the rights to his or her selfie to the monied and/or self absorbed.

  3. I think this is awesome–I mean, yes, let’s reboot and rethink this Internet thing completely. It’s spring and I need to get some fresh air. And my real cat needs some cuddles. 🙂
    (Hilarious post!)

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