If there is anything I love as much as Star Wars, it would be The Muppets.  If you follow my blog often, you know that is a lot.  Below is some of the great wisdom and random quotes that I have gained from my endless hours of watching The Muppet Show and movies.

The Line: “You can fit through those bars?”

The Context: In The Muppet Christmas Carol, Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) and Rizzo the Rat (as himself) use rope to climb over Scrooge’s gate, and then Rizzo falls in terror on the other side.  Upon realizing his jelly beans are on the other side of the gate, he walks through the bars, picks up the jelly beans, and Gonzo says, “You can fit through those bars?”

The Wisdom: Often, we find ourselves going through the most convoluted, ridiculous, windy way to get to a goal, only to discover we could have skipped that whole arduous process with one simple step.

Here are a  few examples from this last week: The other day I discovered WordPress’s follow function can also be an RSS feed for non-Wordpress-hosted blogs.  All you have to do is paste the URL in the box, and click “Follow”.   Why was I using Google Reader until they stopped the service, when I could use one site?

Also, at work, we got new computers.  Having to scan many things, I decided to introduce my scanner to the new computer.  However, the scanner seemed too shy to talk to the new computer, even after a fine soiree.  After a whole day spent unjamming the scanner, and clearing various error messages, I researched the problem online.  The solution?  Use a shorter USB cord.

In other words, “You can fit through those bars?”

The Line: “If you add enough sugar, it tastes just like ginger ale”

The Context: In The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit takes Miss Piggy out to a fancy restaurant, and Fozzie, as Kermit’s twin brother and co-journalist, comes along.  As he’s drinking champagne, he leans back and says the line to a bystander.

The Wisdom: Sometimes, if you add enough spice or sugar to something, it will be at least palatable.

A few other lines about food from The Great Muppet Caper:

Scooter brings mustard to The Muppet gangs attempted to break into the art gallery, and says, “We could eat through those bars,” which Animal then proceeds to do.

Kermit and Fozzie dress as pizza delivery men in order to help the other Muppets sneak into the art gallery.  The guard repeatedly says, “But, I don’t like pepperoni.”  Even though I like a good pepperoni pizza, I think of this line whenever I go to eat one.

The Line: “Hmm…”

The Context: In The Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit is hit by a taxi and loses his memory.  He finds himself on Madison Avenue, looking for a job.  He stumbles into an all-frog ad agency and chooses to introduce himself as Phillip Phil (not to be confused with American Idol 2012 winner Philip Phillips).  The other frogs are named Jill, Bill, and Gil.  These three frogs are nice, but very bland.  Whenever they pause to think, the say, “Hmm…” in a long, awkward way.

The Wisdom: First, when I meet people who are… less than interesting, I think “Hmm…” in my head.  Second, when I’m thinking about something, or there is a long, awkward pause in a discussion, I’ll say, “Hmm…” as a filler.  There are some moments that need an awkward filler.

The Line:  “Somebody’s getting marr-ied.”

The Context: Also, from The Muppets Take Manhattan.  At the end of the film is a musical number titled “Somebody’s Getting Married,” about Miss Piggy and Kermit getting married.

The Wisdom: Not much wisdom in this one.  Instead, this is what pops up in my head when engagements are announced, and I find myself just singing the line.  When my good friend Jaclyn was engaged a few months ago, I showed the song to her, and suggested she model her wedding on that.  She somehow decided not to.

The Line: Yayyyy!

The Context: In a typical opening of The Muppet Show, Kermit announces, “And now our special guest, (Guest’s Name),” and then exits the stage, saying, “Yayyy! as he flails his arms.

The Wisdom: Some things are just that exciting.

The Line: Kermit: “Good grief, the comedian’s a bear!”

Fozzie: “No he’s not.  He’s a-wearin’ a neck tie.”

The Context:  In the pantheon of great Muppet skits and moments, this is quite possibly my favorite.  In this short scene from The Muppet Show, Kermit is attempting to assist Fozzie with a joke, which proceeds into a play on the word “Here” versus “Hear.”  Just watch the video link above, in all its amazingness.

The Wisdom: Sometimes we need to give each other better instructions.  Also, anytime someone in my family says, “Good grief,” someone else says, “The comedian’s a bear,” followed with a quick, “No he’s not.  He’s a wearin’ a neck tie.”

It’s like starting a chorus of a song.  You can’t stop mid-way.  It has to be finished.

The Line: Wokka wokka

The Context: At the end of a joke, or series of jokes, Fozzie the Bear often ends with, “Wokka wokka.”  (This has various spellings online, but this is my preferred version.

The Wisdom: In comedy, it’s always important to have a catch phrase or indication you’ve reached the punch line.  Also, this is useful when making bad puns.  They’re not quite as painful with a Wokka Wokka thrown in.

The Line: “Am I a man or a Muppet?”

The Context: From the 2011 reboot film, The Muppets, Jason Segel’s character, Gary, and his Muppety brother, Walter, sing this beautiful song in contemplation of whether they are a Muppet or a man.

The Wisdom: First, this is an Oscar winning song, and a missed opportunity for a great performance at the 2012 Oscars.  Second, I think all Muppety fans must answer this question for themselves at least once in their lives.  I think I am a Muppety (Wo)man.

What are your favorite Muppeticisms?  Which Muppet are you most like?  (I think I’m most like Fozzie Bear.)  What’s your favorite Muppet movie or Muppet Show episode?  Are you a Muppet or a man?

Side Note: Today, April 22, 2013, I have 301 followers exclusively through WordPress.  Most of them are real people, but I think I’ve gotten a bunch of SPAM followers over the last week.  Has anyone else gotten random SPAM followers in the last week or two?  Also, thank you to all of the real people who’ve followed!

Side Note 2: Thanks everyone for their birthday wishes!  Thursday was a great day.

UPDATE: And here’s some more Muppety Fun

UPDATE 2: My brother pointed out that while The Great Muppet Caper isn’t his favorite, it is the most quotable.  Here is a sampling of things I skipped over: “We’ll catch them red handed?  What color are their hands now?,” “You are all wierdos,” “If I want to go and hang around the beach naked, that’s my thing,” “I lost it.  Why don’t you check your other pants?  I don’t have any other pants,” and the whole sequence where Miss Piggy sneaks into a fancy British house and pretends John Cleese is her butler.